See you all later.
It has been an incredible past few months. Thank you all for allowing me to come to your forums and be a part of it. IMO, Without you all and INTUA I would have not survived. Unfortunately, I do not see a place for me here anymore. So I guess I will serve a purpose elsewhere. Just going to focus on deletion of every single contribution I've made since arrival. Might take a month. Archive it all if you want while you can. Thanks and goodbye!
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Comments
Mefisme, I don't know what might be going on in your personal life, but it seems about a fortnight ago you became very uptight and started responding badly to some of the jokes and light-heartedness some of us display towards eachother (what the french refer to as bonhomie). Since then you've been posting some pretty abstract stuff we sometimes find hard to comprehend, and I think we've responded to this by trying to make a bit of fun and check you still have a sense of humour.
Please don't leave, but also please realise that these forums might not be able to satisfy all of your philosophical/experimental needs, and there may be better places out on the internet for these explorations.
Remember, we're just a bunch of random people (mostly guys) who are trying to find out how to get the best out of BM3. We try not to take ourselves (or our music) too seriously, and try to make things as fun and welcoming for all users as we possibly can.
Please reconsider.
(p.s. what do you mean “I would not have survived”?)
I'm funny. I smile. I laugh. I get angry. I cry. Typical human stuff. I'm as human as it gets. I'm just going to leave here and watch the world melt. Isn't that what it's doing?
Experiments end. What else is there to reconsider? Haha. There I laughed. Humour me.
It's not like I can delete my self from here anyways. I don't even know how to delete me. Dumb as shit, apparently. I'm excellent at self-defeat. I was trying to overcome it by coming here. I just see an utter fail. Go meme your life away people. Have fun hiding behind masks.
It's not like I can even demand a deletion. I don't see the button anywhere. So all my posts are now under the ownership of Intua. Good for them. Pointless for me.
You know what Hell is like? It's being forced to kill yourself over and over again. Clones of self. Each murder a new pain on self.
I've been given a second chance at life, and I'm already being attacked. I give up.
No idea how to delete this profile. For another day I guess. Going to go to sleep now. Going to go get a job at MCFUCKINGDs or DQ serving diabetes.
It's hard for me to tell how serious your situation is. What I do know is that these forums are no substitute for professional help and support.
It sounds like you are having a tough time, and I hope you come through it.
I heartily support deleting accounts over suicidal hell. And laughing at yourself and others is also good medicine for the annoying aspects of life, glad that slipped in there. There is a reason many of the best artists are absurdists... Life is absurd and people take it way too seriously and / or not seriously enough. Paradoxical is my favorite way to describe being human.
You don't need to leave the forum. You're obviously an intelligent person with a lot to contribute. But this is not the place to come for serious help. You need to call a doctor and tell them what you're going through, and they can refer you to either someone to talk to who can help you sort it all out, or someone who can sort out your chemicals. You may have an imbalance. Happens all the time and it can be fixed. It won't get fixed sitting there typing it out into the ether. You need to get with someone in the meatspace who's seen it before and really help. Good luck.
Hi @mefisme I am totally with you. You shouldn’t expect to get help from a forum in internet, it is almost always getting harsh and agressive, especially with a moderator like we have here who always think that we should act like he decided to (after all he has been doing music for 30 years know, so he should know everything !)
I wish you good luck for the future, and I hope you will get better soon
I don't fall to the "you need to see someone" side of things. I think there are some real nasty attitudes around here and I think that when you work on art there is a large matter of vulnerability. Maybe it isn't that you need to see a "professional," you just need to keep your distance from this place. I saw some merit in what you were writing but not enough discipline or discerning effort to be concise about your ideas the last couple of days. The fact is art is a hard sell, whether it ought to be or not, it is. In order to take the manic intoxicating rush of ideas and transform them into something usable (BM3 was once just an idea), there are a wealth of techniques and approaches to take.
I wanted to stick up for you and I did, but then you just free-associated a whole bunch of abstract ideas to a crowd that was already suspicious. There is room to do that kind of thing but timing is everything. I have been going to universty over the years -- I have similar ideas that you have, but I can't just say anything to anyone I want. I have to earn their attention by formulating my positions in a way that compels them to be convinced that I have a legitimate point of view. There is definitely good reason to be upset about the state of the world -- but the world is in its infancy and although we have gone from horses to spaceships in a hundred years, the technological progress can cause people to overestimate other kinds of social progress.
Bottom line, things are difficult. But the thing is, there are a lot of us artists who know that. We are moving forward, doing the good hard work and trying to spread that message. I would advise getting a membership at your local pool and going swimming three times a week. Or man up and start taking yoga. To me, this is cutting edge. It takes courage to walk a spiritual path. By spiritual I mean taking seriously the idea that you are here to help by keeping a bit of a low key and doing good things to help those around you.
Remember, so many people helped you get to where you are. All of your clothes, electronics, the words you use, the food you eat -- were all made for you by other people. While others may tell you not to leave the forum, I actually detect some dark energy around here and I am hesitant to even post this.
Careful not to become guilty of attacking a straw man, @futureaztec
Dark energy? This sounds more like a personal grievance. What you and @mefisme encountered here was merely resistance to the self-congratulatory expositions on musical metaphysics and post-modernist philosophy in a forum that was created only to discuss the use of a specific product.
As I've said before, there are much better places out there on the internet suited to these kinds of explorations. Please don't be angry that you didn't find a willing and appreciative crowd for that here.
This whole episode has been very regretful for all of us, and is a dark cloud on an otherwise very friendly and helpful little forum.
"the self-congratulatory expositions on musical metaphysics and post-modernist philosophy in a forum that was created only to discuss the use of a specific product."
This is why he is leaving.
Agree with what others have said above. Go seek professional help and come on back when you're feeling better. Best wishes.
@mefisme let me know if you want all your content removed, i can do that in one click, i can also ban your account if needed too no problem.
@Sygma i dont expect anybody to act like me, i expect you all to be respectful of Intua and each other, if you do not like that, tough, go and complain to Intua.
I doubt very much that @mefisme is leaving because of me, you insinuating such better be backed up or shut up.
The amount of crap spoken about me because i dont allow this forum to descend in to the sexist/racist/disrespectful nonsense that Audiobus forum users are used to is ridiculous, if anything it should be me wanting to leave, unfortunately i am a much bigger man than those constantly taking side swipes about any comment i make, so you are stuck with me until Intua say so, so save your sly comments and complain to Intua.
Perhaps, although he's not simply leaving. Instead he's enacting a kind of public forum seppuku - hence the reason we have started showing genuine care and concern for his wellbeing.
Anyway, i am going to recommend to @mefisme that he has a little break for a couple of days and reconsiders, nobody wants him to leave or struggle with any issues.
@tk32 If that's the case then maybe the whole idea in modern psychology that social integration is the goal of well being is a deeply problematic assumption. Integrating with a corrupt society is not the kind of story we tell when we look back at, say, the civil rights movement. In order to overcome the weight of popular opinion in securing a better world, pointing to chemical imbalances and alienating the differences in others can jeopardize that process.
I understand the "danger" of mental illness, but we too often overlook the danger of social illness. My great grandfather fought in both world wars, and three of his sons fought in World War 2. As a Canadian, my family has made great sacrifices to defeat such a corrupt society. If you look into the work of people such as Hannah Arendt, for example, it is an attempt to examine how evil functions -- how someone sits in an office and orchestrates unspeakable evil, while at the same time possessing a very normal conscience.
Just plain social integration as a goal is way too problematic of a viewpoint if attention is not given to corruption as well. If you look at the content of @mefisme's posts you notice that he is questioning this corruption. So telling him he is basically crazy, or that his sadness is merely a chemical or personal problem that needs professional help can actually serve to further alienate an otherwise creative light.
My approach is to say, "yeah, you're right it is corrupt. What's your plan, and is it working?" The chorus of voices here may be right, and I may be wrong. I just find it so unsettling to watch how people lean on this sort of viewpoint of "getting help" without thinking it through.
Nobody said he was crazy, some suggestions were made that this forum may not be the outlet for those types of discussions.
This was no disrespect on @mefisme who is a very valued member of the community, nobody dislikes him or wants him to leave.
Why are you taking this opportunity to try and inflame the situation ?
@mefisme has contacted me via PM, i am putting a cooling period on deleting his account hoping he changes his mind, i will not allow you to inflame this situation further though because that seems utterly disrespectful !!!!!!